Liam Neeson – Qui-Gon Jinn

Ewan McGregor – Obi-Wan Kenobi

Natalie Portman – Queen Amidala / Padmé

Jake Lloyd – Anakin Skywalker

Ian McDiarmid – Senator Palpatine

Written and Directed by George Lucas

As many of you might unfortunately know, the scourge of “afterthought 3D” is hitting Star Wars with a splotchy and slow to realise impact. With the release of The Phantom Menace this year, with each episode being released annually after that I thought I would touch upon one of my most hates movie franchises. The Prequels.

It is of no surprise that many people revile the newer Star Wars movies for being effectively piled of poorly made garbage and I am also one of them. However with a new 3D treatment perhaps the movie is worth another look as surely there are some good aspects to it? Well, not really.

Unfortunately the basic issue with The Phantom Menace stems from its complete lack of characters and its rather vague and unthought through storyline. When I say it lacks characters I am more refering to the lack of proper fleshing out and characterisation of its heroes. Neither Qui-Gon nor Obi-Wan, our supposed heroes of this story, have any real discernible traits that define them and unfortunatly this does not give us a good edge into the storyline. Whereas in the original trilogy we always had fish out of water Luke Skywalker to follow around and become involved in the universe with. Whilst this kind of thing could have been happening with Obi-wan as the younger Jedi we never really get it and instead are left back on the ship for a good portion of the movie.

I wont make any paritucaly mention of the much hated Jar Jar Binks whose awfulness is so obvious that its really not worthy of proper mention. I will just say that his terrible and annoying character is a symptom of this movie rather then a direct cause to why it is bad.

Our story, about trade disputes between a planet we have never heard before and an organisation that really makes no sense when you think about it cannot be more irrelevant to Star Wars then it already is. We bounce between a crisis that is not shown at all to a story about a boy that we are told is really important who engages in a race of ridiculous nature before returning and solving the original crisis that is only kind of still there. Does this sound like an interesting premise, even on paper?

This review admitably is beating a dead horse as Episode 1 has been picked apart and ridiculed by many many reviewers who have put in far more effort in de constructing it then I have. So the 3D, is it worth it? Well like any post processed 3D the answer is naturally no. Even then the 3D effects are sparse and are probably utilised in less then half the movie when the special effects are at their highest usage. Still, with over $23million already made from this re-release it can’t be said that it was a bad idea from a financial perspective.

Would I recommend Episode 1 in 3D? Not in the slightest and would infact recommend against seeing it so as to not encourage more movie making of this terrible quality. Stay away.

Rated 1 midichloriran out of 50,000

Not having seen a decent movie this week I thought it was time to review an album that I have been listening to on a near daily basis for the past month. Hurtsville by Jack Ladder and the Dreamlanders is the third album by Jack Ladder, a Sydney born musician, and the first as a collaborative effort with his new band the Dreamlanders.

The comparisons with Nick Cave seem to be a favourite with other reviewers and I can see why in a fashion but this also discredits Ladder at the same time. Considering the rather vast influence Cave has had on just about every modern Australian musician it seems unfair to compare Ladder with him simply because they both have deep baritone voices. Yes there are comparisons but lets not go too overboard shall we?

Jack Ladder’s previous albums suffered, if anything, from a much to wide breadth. Their large range of differing styles song to song was interesting but were not very captivating. Fortunately Hurtsville does not suffer from this and Ladder seems to have discovered a style of music that will hopefully see him well in the future as well.

The stand out song on this album is undoubtedly “Cold Feet” which has been given some radio play by TripleJ and other alternative radio stations but not nearly enough. It is a dark and moody song that is really pushed along by its almost melodramatic instrumentation. My second favourite is called “Dumb love” and is a great change of pace in the album with a far more upbeat and catchy riff to accompany it.

There are a few criticisms that I have of the album that, whilst relativity minor, stop it from getting top marks. The lyrical content is ridiculously all over the place in quality. Whilst some lyrics are extraordinarily clever and well written others are little more then puns or cliches that do not fit the rest of the lyrical tone. On top of this certain songs run a little too long and you’re almost inclined to reach for the skip button after the five or six minute mark which I never consider to be a good thing on any album.

It is really the entirety of Hurtsville that gives it strength. There are no bad songs on this album, simply ones that stand out, and all will maintain a listen on a complete run through. By no means a perfect album Hurtsville still manages to deliver a very solid and brooding sound that just simply works. Highly recommended.

Four Nick Cave comparisons out of Five.

Lets take sniffer dogs for instance. Their usefulness to police is unquestionable but unfortunately the actual realities aren’t so favourable. Last year on the ABC site Amy Simmons brought up results of sniffer dogs being terribly ineffective in the job they do. As high as four in five positive “sniffs” were revealed to have been false.

Well you ask, that’s still not a problem really is it? They still have a twenty percent chance of catching someone! Well tell that to those 80% who were potentially forcibly searched, detained and generally inconvenienced due to inaccurate readings. Its not fair, is a violation of what should be steadfast civil liberties and should not be tolerated.

I bring this up largely as a response to Greg Barn’s article outlying much of these ideas but particularly focusing on the usage of dogs in festivals to specifically combat the usage of party drugs. Why are we continuing such a “war on drugs” when only a handful of people are even being punished out of the many thousands who attend these festivals?

This country has a rather sorry love affair with slowly allowing our rights to be eroded because “it does not really effect me”. How much longer should we put up with allowing a woefully inadequate system to function when it has the power to arbitrarily search anyone effectively? Perhaps no longer.

Xavier Samuel as David Locking

Laura Brent as Mia Ramme

Olivia Newton-John as Barbra Ramme

Jonathan Biggins as Jim Ramme

Kris Marshall as Tom

Written by Dean Craig and directed by Stephan Elliott

The root of Australian comedies has always seemed to me to stem from familiarity. Our comedy heroes are generally the “battler” whose charm and wit comes from his or her surrounding that us as Australians are intimately familiar with. Even going so far back as Barry Mackensie you can see how the Aussie comedy icon is very much supposed to embody Australia.

The problem is that this is simply not marketable. Sure films like The Castle, Muriel’s Wedding and even the Wog Boy to name some contemporary ones have done well and are even critically and culturally acclaimed but overseas their marketability is rather low.

There of course is one Australian comedy that everyone knows and did remarkably well overseas and that is Crocodile Dundee. The thing about Dundee however is that the marjority of the film isnt even set in Australia. It is actually a fish out of water story and well, that works just about anywhere.

This is where A few best men come into it as at its heard, A few best men is not an Australian comedy despite being financed by Australian film and directed by Stephan Elliot of Pricilla fame. Written by Dean Craig the film is decidedly a British take on the ensemble friend comedy and with some Australian humour thrown in here and there. This is actually a rather smart move by the film makers as by effectively creating a British comedy in Australia they can capture both markets well.

The plot of the story consists of four friends making their way to the Blue Mountains for the wedding of David and naturally hijinks ensue involving a prize sheep, a drug dealer with parent issues and a politically obsessed father in law.

It would be unfair to say that A few best men is derivative as it is certainly a funny and well made movie. It is however fairly formulaic and predictable with scenes and ideas very much there only to set up a joke later in the movie that you can see a mile off.

Fortunately the ensemble cast are all very good with the stand out being Kris Marshall who you may remember from a slightly similar film called Death at a Funeral. Props must be given to Olivia Newton John who is actually quite funny in her role as a fed up political wife.

Overall A few best men is decently funny, if highly predictable, movie that is guaranteed to get you laughing. Being a film that is largely Australian in funding and production I would probably recommend it on that basis alone as promoting our film industry is important so you might as well do it in exchange for a laugh.

A few best men gets a solid three prize rams out of five for me. A perfectly good comedy but not one that you will be quoting for years to come.

Cast: You!

Directed by: Probably you as well.

Never underestimate the power of the internet.

For luminous memes it is, not this crude matter.

So what is with the warped Star Wars references you might ask? Well the reason is I have just finished watching Star Wars: A New Hope. Well I sort of did.

Actually I barely watched any of the original Star Wars, seeing only glimpses of it in the fan refilming Star Wars: Uncut. I should clarify that it is actually fans refilming as Star Wars: Uncut is a group collaborative project consisting of the original Star Wars cut up into 15second segments which anyone can then remake in any way they see fit.

The results are well, spectacular.

The quality, is to be admitted, rather all over the place depending on the submission. They range from amazing quality animation and clever re imaginings to rather average home productions. Fortunately at only 15 seconds long, each scene never outstays its welcome and instead makes you laugh uncontrollably.

Sometimes the internet produces something very special that brings out the best in people and combines that together into something amazing. Best of all we are here to experience if completely for free.

Because of the nature of this project rating it would be rather pointless. I will say that it is immensely enjoyable and I highly recommend you at least check out your favourite scenes. I guarantee at least a smile.

http://www.starwarsuncut.com/

At first it seems reasonable with the usual clauses but then I arrived to the early cancellation section. Naturally the expectation to pay off the remainder of your handset fee is there. If you leave their service its only reasonable to pay your dues. The issue I find comes with the next two clauses that appear. Firstly a cancellation fee of $800 should you leave in the first 6 months with a $200 drop off each subsequent 6 month block. Secondly the requirement to pay out the remainder of your contract.

Some people will state that we have entered a contract with the company and therefore should be paying what is expected by what we have agreed to and signed to. Well the question I have is why are we forced to have contracts anyway?

The reality is that short of the handset fees, which are expected to pay off anyway, the company actually has zero investment into your part of the deal. Should you theoretically decide to stop using their service then the net damage to their profit is simply the loss of the money you were going to pay to use their service. So why, if you don’t wish to remain with their service, should you be expected to keep on paying for it? In addition why should we be paying cancellation fees just so we can take our money elsewhere?

It would seem to me that the only reason we actually accept the ideas of locked in contracts is because they are legally allowed to and that we are so used to it being the norm that we simply accept it as being another necessary part of owning a service.

It is no wonder that the telecommunications industry is rife with poor service and terrible overcharging as the entire contract setup is anti competitive to an almost perfect degree. Rather then being able to take out business elsewhere should we be unsatisfied we are instead forced to remain for no other reason then the fact that the company, and therefore every company, is allowed to force you.

Why can I change my insurance policy at the drop of a hat to anyone I choose but cannot do that with my phone or internet service? Its a question that has no real answer because there is no good reason why. It simply is that way but I wonder if perhaps it should be something that is looked into further.

Daniel Craig as Mikael Blomkvist
Rooney Mara as Lisbeth Salander
Christopher Plummer as Henrik Vanger
Stellan Skarsgård as Martin Vanger

Directed by David Fincher

I must first of all clarify that I have not seen the 2009 Swedish version nor have I read the book so this review will not be consisting of comparisons between the different versions.

This makes the question of “was this remake actually worth it?” a little harder to answer as I can only review it upon its own merits. Fortunately this is not difficult as The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is a damn fine film from beginning to end. Well, pretty much but I will get to that in a bit.

This version was directed by David Fincher who you may remember for a few little known movies such as Fight Club and 2010′s The Social Network which narrowly missed out on best picture at the academy awards. With directing credits such as these the expectations of a tightly made and character centric film are quite high. Fortunately Fincher delivers on these expectations incredibly well.

The film in brief consists of two stories that entwine together to solve a forty year old mystery. Mikael Blomkvist (Craig) is an investigative reporter, recently shamed from losing a libel case, who is hired by Henrik Vankger (Plummer) to investigative the death of his niece from over forty years ago, believing that only he can unravel the decadent and immoral lives of his family and discover the truths beneath. Meanwhile Lisbeth Salander (Mara), the titular character of the book, is a deeply troubled social outcast who survives by working as an investigative hacker, stealing information that people try their very best to hide. Her story is much more personally involved with the harsh reality of her dealing with a life of prejudices against her and people taking advantage of her at any moment. She soon she finds herself being hired by Mikael to help with his case and the two begin to discover horrifying secrets that one almost wishes had been left buried.

Without giving too much of the plot away I must make mention of the ideas of gender roles and the concepts of strength, both mental and physical. The casting of Craig, coming off of two James Bond films, really helps cement the themes of inner strength and the misjudgement of appearances. Of the two main characters, the socially stunted, deeply troubled girl is by far and away the strongest of the two and the one most willing to get the job done in spite of the normality that people impose. Other reviewers have compared Lisbeth to being a “grounded and realistic portrayal of hollywood women heroes” and I believe that this is fairly true. Her skills are many and she does not back down however there is a real vulnerability to her character that cements it as being “this could be real”. Rooney Mara has to be heavily complemented for this role. It cannot have been an easy one to fill but she was a remarkable stand out amongst an already great cast. Definitely and without doubt an award winning performance.

I would very much recommend the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo however I must say that the film does not quite end after the ending of the main plot and feels like the false endings of The Return of the King that the internet has made fun of for many a year. A few minutes cut out there may have helped improve the pacing but this is still a minor nitpicking.

Go see The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, it is not a dumb downed Hollywood remake in the slightest and is a tense, exciting, somewhat disturbing but overall excellent movie.

Four and a half false endings out of five.

Except that the industrial revolution only ended for west. China is right in the middle of one right now and the ones who reap the rewards are us.

It is very easy to forget about the human element in the production of what is essentially the great majority of our consumer goods. We kid ourselves that its all done through machines and robots and that the human element is small, but this is not the case. Such images are products of the idea of Japanese automation and advanced western practises. But with a basically inexhaustible labour force, China does not need such things to produce.

Foxconn is the worlds largest producer of consumer electronics, including brands such as Apple, Sony, Intel, and Microsoft, and quite probably the majority producer as well considering its own workforce exceeds a million people now. But bear in mind that this isn’t a million people by western standards. These are people who work sixty to seventy hour work weeks and take home a wage not befitting of their time and suffer chronic injuries and mental anguish to the point of suicide. Unconfirmed reports of child labour being utilised are not unheard of either which in my opinion is probably something simply swept under the rug.

But then there is no easy answer on our side of the fence. What if we all boycotted these products? Would that help the million people who rely on these wages to live? What about the millions of others who provide the materials and the shipping and the numerous other related industries?

Would the companies, who so far ignore the plight of the workers, change anything if it meant a decrease in profit? Most likely not.

So am I calling for a boycott of electronics and consumerism? No, of course not. When half of my own computer probably came from one of these factories I cannot say anything without being, in part, a hypocrite. Perhaps just awareness of the origins of our everyday items is helpful. It certainly can’t hurt.

The conversation developed past this as my friend told me how this kind of active social life certainly hadn’t simply appeared or was thrust upon them. This friend worked for it by rekindling old friendships that had diminished, due to the inclusion of partners and other life events, and pursuing new people contacts. It was a lot of hard work they say and I am beginning to believe it.

As we get older and subsequently more set in our own ways, routines and habits we drift from friendships unnecessarily. We didn’t necessarily have a falling out or even that one person moved to the other side of the world. We simply became too complacent to give a damn. Why do we do this?

I have no ready answer but then again most people do not either. It is something that I regularly complain about in my personal life but really don’t do anything about fixing.

So perhaps this is a wake up call in a way. To seek out new friends from the old and see where that takes me. It certainly cannot hurt and I may realise something that I had been missing out on for years. It certainly has to be better then whining about people not going out any more.

You undoubtedly have a dozen or more old friends added to Facebook ‘just cause’ who you have neglected to message so perhaps you should try the same thing too. It cant hurt you either!

Johnny Depp as Raoul Duke

Benicio del Toro as Dr. Gonzo

Directed by Terry Gilliam

The first thing you may notice is the rather short cast list for this weeks movie. This isn’t to say that Fear and Loathing lacks other characters, it merely says that said characters are part of such a drug fevered psychotic dream that you barely realise just who played said characters before your mind folds in on itself.

Fear and loathing is based upon the book by the same name, written by Hunter S Thompson as a thinly veiled version of the real life events he experienced during his time as a “gonzo journalist”. Reportedly this film spent many years to be made with actors such as Jack Nicholson and even John Belushi but varying reasons meant it was not to be for many years to come.

Much like the real life adventures of Hunter S Thompson, Fear and Loathing is a story that the audience experiences rather then watches. The disjointed narrative barely holds together, just like our protagonist, and the film is all the better for it.

Johnny Depp transforms himself into Raoul Duke, a thinly veiled analogue to the real Hunter S Thompson, and along with his Attorney, Dr Gonzo, played by the similarly disguised Benicio del Toro but journey to the fabled Las Vegas in order to write an article about the Mint 400 “The richest off-road race for motorcycles and dune-buggies in the history of organised sport!”. The film quickly devolves into a fiasco of drugs, hallucinations and general immoral actions.

I admit however that it can be a difficult film to watch. The first fifteen odd minutes is without doubt cinematic perfection of comedy, characterisation and acting. After that the film loses a bit of its steam and flip flops a bit between the different events in the film. It is by no means a bad thing necessarily but the opening is by far and away the strongest part of the film.

The film would undoubtedly have not worked had it not been for the excellent performances by Johnny Depp and Del Toro. It is rare to find a role that the actor is so completely lost in that you lose all sight of the original actor and fully believe that this is the real deal. Depp and Del Toro both pull this off remarkably and easily carry the film along its less then normal paths.

It is also rather easy to spot the directorial influences from Terry Gilliam with scenes of men and woman turning into reptiles and Duke walking around a flooded hotel room with a tape recorder taped to his chest. The themes are largely reminiscent of his previous works and frankly I cannot think of any other director more capable then creating the visual idea of a man in a ether binge.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is an easily recommended film. It will definitely not cater to some people and I must warn that if you have a particular issue with drugs, drug taking and drug collecting then this film is perhaps not to your taste. To everyone else, see this film.

Four salt shakers of cocaine out of five.